my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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