uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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