matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
