In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
