I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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