I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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