He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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