I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are my feet made of real feet?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
