I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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