just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
they're like a gay fantastic four
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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