Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
