don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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