Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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