Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
