he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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