He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
