I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
