My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
