I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
