Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So vagazzling was a success
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
