i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
