Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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