This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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