there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
