I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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