Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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