Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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