I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize