Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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