he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
