I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
