All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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