accomplished twins. life is a go
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
