She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ladies don't puke and tell
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
