I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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