I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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