ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
