This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize