Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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