I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize