White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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