i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
