put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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