why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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