I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
