I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Vodka?
Forever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
