Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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