To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
