I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your penis caused this!
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