Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
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I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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