I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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