Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
