it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
