I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
