her vagine was all disorganized.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Did you just see the Batmobile???
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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