The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
