she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
