you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
