Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize