I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
