Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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