How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
