I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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