I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
