I accidentally burped into my bong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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