I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
