her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
